Sunday, February 26, 2012

At the end of the day

My lack of writing and abundance of writer's block has prompted quite a train of thought recently.  I have contemplated giving up.  I have considered using more writing prompts.  I tinkered with the format.  I sketched a new blog space/ page/ theme.  I wondered about my purpose, my ability and my readership.  I talked to friends and I listened.  I remembered something my boss said earlier this year.  He said, "do what comes naturally." 

My boss was talking about teaching and administration in my job.  He was speaking to all the staff at my school.  He used a great illustration involving a dog and this has resulted in a saying about the place... "be the dog" and I often say to him... "I'm being the dog!"  I have found that as a result, I have become a much more relaxed teacher and I see my students responding differently to me.  I have decided that it is because I am relaxed. 

What on earth does all this mean? 

At the end of the day, I am going to write what I want, when I want, how I want.  Maybe it is not the best writing in the world.  Some posts will be excellent, some will be terrible.  There will be grammatical errors some days, and I might slip up on the spelling now and then.  Typos will certainly be present.  But that's okay, because I'm being the dog. 

This reminds me of something another wise friend once said to me... and it might not sound all that profound, but to me it was incredibly liberating.  In response to every sadness, fault, diappointment or irritating situation, he said "and that's okay."  I am not perfect... and that's okay.  They have taken that responsibility from me, and that's okay.  She isn't talking to me, and that's okay.  He won't do that, and that's okay. 

So, at the end of the day... it's okay.  Everything is okay.  I'm going to write when it comes naturally. 

Sometimes we all need to stop, look and listen.  Then we need to say, "that's okay" and be the dog.