Why I'm Joyful

Earlier this month, I was asked to speak at my church on the topic of Reasons to be Joyful and why a particular verse encourages me to be Joyful.  Below, is a transcript of what I said (almost).  You might know some of this story if you have read my blog for a long time.  It might fill in some gaps for you too.  Here goes...

There are some things you need to know about me…

1.     I have a medical condition which causes chronic pain.  I experience physical pain every day.  (I’ll tell you more about that in a minute).

2.     I have clinical depression.

3.     I am a learning support teacher in a high school.  I work with students who struggle to perform academically in school (for various reasons).

How’s it going, am I sounding joyful yet?

I know it’s easy to be joyful when things are going great.  Today I’m going to talk about being joyful when things are tough. 

Here’s my story.  I grew up the Salvation Army and my family has always been an active part of our church.  In my late teens, I began getting headaches (everyday).  I spent a lot of time going to doctors, physios and specialists.  I tried lots of alternative medicines and treatments.  The doctors eventually put it down to a combination of issues and put me on some medication which helped but it didn’t really solve the problem. 

In my teen years and my early twenties, I was an active member of my local corps.  I played in the band, I was the timbrel leader, I was a SAGALA leader and a youth group leader.  I was at university and later at work during the day.  Most nights I was at church or doing something at home that was for a church activity.  My worship was in my service.  I was joyful and busy.

In my mid-twenties (about 10 years later), symptoms began to spread and I started experiencing pain in my joints and my neck.  After lots more doctors and tests and about 3 or 4 years of failed attempts to fix it, the medical profession got its act together.  They worked out that I have a disorder which means that my brain perceives pain differently to ‘normal’ brains.    The long and the short of it is that everyday activities can cause me debilitating pain.  We soon learned that my Dad had a similar condition, although the cause of his pain was clear (cancer and diabetes), while the cause of my condition wasn’t.  I was unable to work for some time.  I found that many activities I had once enjoyed were now practically impossible.  This condition has no cure and it often leads to depression.  Of course, I was no exception… I had some very dark days, weeks, months.  Treatment is focused on helping those with chronic pain accept their illness and focus on having some quality of life. 

This was a struggle for me and I was confronted with making choices between what I wanted and what was best for my health.  Playing the drums or playing the cornet caused me to be in bed for two days – or worse struggle with work and take pain medication that made me dopey.  Playing my timbrel meant wearing a wrist brace and taking strong pain medication to be able to write my name the next day (which was hard as a teacher). Sometimes even eating with a knife and fork was exhausting. Having a shower meant that I needed to lie down for an hour afterwards.  There are still times when I over do things and I need to limit the time I spend doing things.  I’m in a much better place now.  I have a wonderful team of medical professionals who work together to help me balance medication, specific and modified exercises, going to work and having a life.  It still need to avoid some things but, in general I’m okay. 

I had to learn how to live my life differently.  I have spent a lot of time with doctors, nurses, physios I read lots of books, pamphlets, websites and journals to learn about my illness.  I spent a lot of time with my Bible to learn about healing and why God doesn’t heal everyone.  I learned where I could get some of that peace that passes understanding.   I didn’t know it, but all that time I spent learning how to live with my illness was preparing me for the most important thing I’ve done in my life.

Most of you knew my Dad.  Most of you know that he was promoted to Glory (he passed away) in January 2017 after a long battle with cancer.  The cancer was caused by kidney/liver disease which was caused by diabetes.  I had the privilege of living with Mum and Dad in the last few years of Dad’s life and caring for him alongside my Mum.  All the time I had spent with doctors, all the reading I had done, all the medication I had taken and learned about, all the dark days and all the strategies for managing my pain and my life, became priceless knowledge and experience.  I was comfortable to speak with Dad’s doctors, nurses and other health care professionals.  I was not afraid to ask questions, because I had learned how to do that for myself.   I was able to manage all of Dad’s medications.  I could work with the physio to help Dad with exercises to improve his mobility.  I knew lots of strategies for managing pain and living with pain. I used everything I had learned to help Dad make the best of his last days.  I was also able to use many of the skills I had learned in SAGALA.  The best program in the Salvos!  I still had hard days and I still grieved for my Father.  It was hard to watch my hero get confused and frail.  However, I was equipped to make that difficult time easier for Mum and Dad and it was an absolute privilege to serve them in that way.  I thank God for that. 

You might be wondering what all this has to do with God’s promises and being joyful. 

James 1:2 says “Dear brothers, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.”

When I have had dark days or difficulties, it has been hard to be joyful and reading James during my most difficult times really challenged me.  However, I see in my life where God has used my difficulties to help others.  So, when I hit a rough patch, I cling to God’s promises and ride out the storm, knowing that God has a purpose - even if I can’t see it. 

I have to say that this verse in Psalm 145 is not one of the Bible verses that I recite or re-read when I am having a hard time or need to remind myself to get it together and smile. However, it has been ingrained in me that the Word of God is True and I can trust every promise I read in it.  So, this verse is the reason I know all the other verses are true.  I can memorise them, or have them hanging over my bed or keep them in my phone as reminders.    

It’s true that I can be still and know that He is God (Psalm 46:10).  Jeremiah 29:11-13 is true when it says that God has a plan for my life and when I seek him I will find him.  Lamentations 3:23-24 is true when it says that the Lord’s mercies begin afresh each morning (I read this one every morning and claim it over my day).  Romans 8:18 is true when it says that “what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory He will reveal to us later.” I can be joyful in the valleys because I know this is only temporary. Philippians 4:19 is true when it says that God will meet all my needs and I don’t worry about paying my bills or buying the things I need.  I know that in this world I will have trouble, but I can take heart because Jesus has overcome the world (John 16:33). 

I want you to know that there are some wonderful things happening in my life.  I have a loving and supportive family.  I have caring Christian friends who encourage me and pray for me.  I have a comfortable place to live with a roommate who makes me laugh everyday (in case you don’t know, I live with my mum). I have a job that pays well and challenges me. I have access to the best medical care in the world.  I have everything I could possibly need. 

This verse encourages me to be joyful because it reminds me that I can trust in my Lord and Saviour.  I’m joyful because my joy doesn’t come from the ‘good’ stuff in my life.  I’m joyful because my Joy comes from Jesus!