So, this is Christmas
We all look around
at his time of year for something magical.
Unless of course we are a mother or wife or self-appointed elf; then we
are too busy trying to create
something magical.
In 2016, I determined to make Christmas extra special because
I knew it would be the last one my father would spend with us. I was right, of course, because he died only
a few weeks after Christmas. He didn’t
want to miss out on the presents! I ask you, what do you buy a dying man? No, really, I’m asking. I cannot for the life
of me remember what I gave him. I
decorated the house, wrapped presents, made a scavenger hunt for the kids and
helped put together an elaborate table setting with my mother. All the while, caring for my dying
father. I don’t know how I managed to
buy and wrap all those presents, either.
In 2017, I was also determined to make Christmas special,
because it was the first one without Dad.
I made sure to decorate, I helped Mum gather table centres and settings
to take to my sister’s house. I got
hydrated and went Christmas shopping, then I came home and wrapped everything. I bought gifts for everyone including the
pets. Especially, Shelly!
Oh no- I just remembered a pair of cats who I forgot to buy
gifts for! ☹ I
usually make their gifts. I’m not sure I
have it in me this year.
In 2017, I was hell bent on creating new traditions and I
worked at making the holiday meaningful, Christ-centred, spent with family and
fun. I tried my level best to make it
easier for me and my mum to not just survive it but enjoy it. I did okay.
This year, I am tired.
I want Christmas to be practical and pretty. I want Christmas to be meaningful, on a whole
new level. I don’t want to waste money
on junk or items that no one really needs.
I am also a little bit sad. In a
way, doing Christmas without Dad is harder this year. I don’t know why. My sister doesn’t want us to buy ‘crap’ for
Christmas. Those were her actual
words. Yes, thank you, I buy crap for my
nieces and nephews. That’s what you think
of all the gifts I have purchased over the years for them. Don’t get me started on my sister.
This year, I have gone Christmas shopping and bought a few
small items for my nieces. I am giving
money to my older nephews and nieces as per their requests. I bought a few things for myself and told my
Mum she can wrap one of them and put it under the tree if she likes. I am giving my mother an experience – sounds scary,
doesn’t it. I decided it was time to
start another new tradition. I will tell
you more about that, a little closer to Christmas.
What’s that you say?
It’s only 4 days until Christmas.
Wait, what? 3 days until Christmas?! No, it can’t be!
Um, I gotta go.
Christmas Love
